Kindergarten-aged kid asks mom when she's gonna buy school supplies, mom launches into Lonely Island-style rap (ex: Lazy Sunday). Rap to hit each marketing point while keeping jokey and without feeling forced , see treatment for lyrics. Video during rap will be jazzed up and cut quicker to mimic music video style. End chorus repeats BTSLikeABoss message. Kid is... unimpressed.
I work with a couple of pro musicians who can knock the music portion out of the park, so it won't just sound silly.