Tongal

(V.O clips of him preforming the described actions) His only friend is his computer. On the rare occasions that he leaves his house, he looks both ways before he crosses the street. Always. His diet consists of granola bars and chewing gum. He has been known to refuse social occasions in preference of maintaining his presence online. His wardrobe is tidy. He folds his socks neatly. He is the least interesting man in the world. "I don't drink often, but when I do, I like water.