Story: What Not to Wear Like a movie premiere red carpet, potential job candidates walk into an office. For example, a man dressed in street wear, sneakers, bed hair. Joan Rivers-esque commentator:Is he going hobo-chic? A woman dressed in tight, revealing clothes, too much makeup, Jersey Shore hair. Commentator:She's a hot mess! Clean-up on Aisle 7! Someone dressed in a well-fitted suit, nicely groomed hair, resume and references in briefcase. Commentator:Now, that's what I call the top of the class. She's hired!